Everywhere

My thoughts have been everywhere lately. I have been on my journey getting to know God for a minute and come across alot of.....hmmmm what should I call it? Sticks and stones in my path...Where do I start?

I was talking to my sister one day and I told her I was feeling like I was stumbling around in the dark, looking for something, (of course a light)...but the feeling was not good. I had been reading my word and praying but I wasn't hearing God. Yes, everything I read was telling me HE was with me and I knew that, but I wanted to hear from HIM.

That was bugging me. Because I also needed to know what I was supposed to be doing. What was I supposed to be contributing, because I was feeling like I was not contributing to anything. So 2 days out of the week, I drive my son to his grandmother's house. On route, I always see this house that has a sign "Palm Readings" Of course there is always this pull to go there. I want to know what direction I am going in. But I don't go. But I want to. I keep wondering if I do it once, that it will not hurt. Because it is not like I am going to become addicted to it or anything like that. BUT GOD....is there and lets me know, through a sermon I listened to with Charles Stanley and through a program I listened to by my sister in Christ, that is never going to be a good idea to do. It is totally against God. And believe me, I do not want to go against God.


Deuteronomy 18:9-13 
King James Version (KJV)
9 When thou art come into the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee, thou shalt not learn to do after the abominations of those nations.
10 There shall not be found among you any one that maketh his son or his daughter to pass through the fire, or that useth divination, or an observer of times, or an enchanter, or a witch.
11 Or a charmer, or a consulter with familiar spirits, or a wizard, or a necromancer.
12 For all that do these things are an abomination unto the Lord: and because of these abominations the Lord thy God doth drive them out from before thee.
13 Thou shalt be perfect with the Lord thy God.

(By the way Deuteronomy is called the Book of Law , which we are to meditate on day and night)

My mood has been up and down. Sometimes I am ok, while sometimes I feel down. At those times, I talk to my sister and I go back to listening to sermons. One day my sister even told me that I needed to listen to the bible. (I was at work) So I listened to a reading of the bible on Biblegateway and I felt better.

I finally, briefly heard God's gentle voice...(and I want to hear it again and again). I was upset about something my baby's father had done. He had gotten upset with me because I didn't answer his texts or phone call. Mind you, my phone has been messing up for awhile, which he knows. Well on this particular day, I text him a question about daycare. I put the phone down and went about my business around the house. After a while, I noticed he hadn't responded. So I picked up my phone and realized it had turned off! I turned it back on and he had texted 2 times. I called him to apologize about the phone only to be met with an attitude. Seriously? He was mad because I didn't respond to his texts or his phone call. I tried to tell him about the phone but gave up and hung up. He still hasn't learned to stop getting mad at people when they do not answer him right away. But it's ok for him to not answer people right away! That ticked me off because I think it is a stupid reaction.

Then I cut my baby's hair. It looked nice. This was the 2nd time I had cut it. I did better than the 1st time. So his dad picked him up from daycare. He called me and asked me who cut his hair. I said I did. He told him it looked to even and good for me to have done it. I said yes I did do a good job didn't I. You could hear all the disbelief in his voice. So he gets off the phone. Then he texts me and tells me next time he will get the baby's hair cut at the barber shop next time so he doesn't have to worry about who is cutting his hair. Are you kidding me? So I go to pick up the baby from his grandmother's place. She then asks me who cut the baby's hair. Are you serious? I did. ( mind you I cut the baby's hair on Sun...this was now Wed) So I left her and went home. 1/2 hr later, the dad texts me apologizing for his reaction and telling me what a good job I did. (this only after it was verified by his mother) Uuuugghhhh!  As I am stomping up the stairs all of a sudden I hear "forgive as I have forgiven you"... all I could do was stop and let it go...

The amazing thing about hearing from God is 1. hearing from HIM and 2. HE doesn't talk in a loud way.
You know how quiet something has to be in order for someone to hear a pin drop? Well that's how it is. Oh I love this verse when I read it...

I Kings 19:11-13

11 The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.”
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 13 When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.
Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

I like this one because it wasn't in the super loud, powerful things that happened did Elijah hear God. It was in the "gentle whisper" that he heard HIM. Sometimes there are too many things going on for us to even hear God. Sometimes we need to be still and be quiet to hear HIM. When I heard HIM, it was quiet around me and that was the only way I was going to hear him...

I need to find more quiet time. I really do. I rarely have it, but I need to take advantage of it when I do happen to get it...

Until next time......