I am not too sure why. But I don't like it. Then other things seem to add to this feeling. Like the other day, my baby got pushed at daycare. The other little boy made my son bust his lip. Looked horrible. I mention to the teachers that the little boy needs to be watched as this is the 2nd time he has pushed my son. And this time he drew blood. Not going to have much more of that happening. So of course, his dad, being the emotional person he is, was upset. But then later that night, my baby, who likes to go in circles sometimes, decided to go in circles near a doorway and apparently leaned a little too far forward and wham, right into the door frame. He didn't cry as I ran over to comfort him. I think it stunned him, but it put him on his butt. Then as I was holding him, a lump started forming on his forehead. This was not my poor little baby's day. I gave him some Tylenol later for the pain of both the lip and the head. He fought myself and his caregiver when we tried to apply ice to his boo-boos. I called his dad to tell him about Chris. He heard everything I said and responded. So please tell me why yesterday, when R picked the baby up, he texts me and tells me he doesn't like the way these boo-boos make the baby look. I told him, he is a boy and boys get bruises. He then proceeds to ask me again how the baby got the bruise on his head. I was upset at this because the way he was asking was as if I hadn't told him the truth yesterday or as of to accuse me of something. Then he tells me I need to watch the baby when he goes in circles. I told him to shut up. Kids get hurt and we can't prevent everything from happening to them. I told him I bet his daughter and other son went through this as well but he didn't know because he wasn't there. Then he tries to say he was there just not everyday. I said that is opposite of what you told me. Whatever and I got off the phone. One thing I despise about R, is his self-righteous attitude. He always talks as if he is perfect and his other kids are perfect and if he was the one in the situation, it either wouldn't have happened or things would be different.
Number one, all 3 of your kids are with their mother, not you. You choose not to constantly be in their lives once you were no longer with the mother so you don't even know how to raise kids let alone tell someone else how to do it! Just like the other day, I let the baby go outside with his brother. R called to see if I took him outside and I said he is with his brother. R proceeds to ask me without you? Uh yes. Then he tells me he worries about his son. Are you kidding me? I wrote him an email, because my text isn't working and said this:
I am just going to say this once and leave it in God's hands.
Please do not question my other son's ability to watch and care for HIS brother. That is very offensive to me that you would even have that thought let alone speak on it. I have never questioned neither your son or daughter when the baby has been in their presence and I am not there, nor do I think or make comments to you. #1, #2, and #3 are all MY children and although the other 2 may have some immaturity in them at times, they WILL NEVER put their brother in jeopardy. (There are some men out their who are more immature in watching kids and that is all I am going to say on that....)
That truly bothered me that you did that. I really don't want to go back and forth on this issue and as I mentioned, I needed to say what I said and am now giving it over to God. Have blessed day.
I didn't go into the matter of how he left his 9yr old with a friend and the friend then left his 9yr old and a younger child in the house alone to go to the store! R didn't get mad at that fact, he got upset that his 9yr old went home and told his mother and his mother called R and cussed him out! Rightly so! But my point is R didn't have a problem with his friend leaving his son alone in the house with a younger child but he acts like he has an issue with the baby's brother watching him? Get out of here!!!
So as I had said before, once we broke up, R eventually deleted me as a friend on facebook. I got over that. I haven't actually look on his page in a while. 1st let me say that the other night, I had a dream about a guy I once knew. He had 2 faces in this dream. One was a good face, the other was bad. I woke up like 'what was that?' So then later that day, I was just looking on facebook, when the thought hit me to look on R's page. Well I did but now wish I hadn't. He had 2 likes to pornographic sites. Oh my goodness that bothered me to the core of my being! I couldn't function for a moment. I took the baby and we went upstairs to go to bed, but I went into my bible. After my devotional, I went back to the pages were I had left off my other reading and came upon Matthew 7:1-6
NIV version
So
I had to pray on it and try to leave it be. I was like disgusted. I needed to
understand why I felt that way. One because he had talked about God with me.
Two because I thought in some way he was changing. But the reality of it, is
that I don’t think he is. He has freedom now. He sells bootleg DVDs and one day
I found out he sells porn too, because that’s what they want. On one hand, I
can’t say much because although I am not doing any of that, I still have sins
in my life. And God counts all sin the same. But at the same time, I
think there was a part of me that thought us not being together would allow him
to grow and change for the better, especially when he keeps trying to inform me
that all he wants is me. I don’t know. Just a huge disappointment in my book.
Anyway,. I am looking on-line for bible studies. I told my sister I felt like I was feeling around in the dark looking for something. At least this will give me a start somewhere. I truly need to study and focus on God and His word. I can't wait for today to be over. Get this blah feeling off of me.
Until next time........
Judging Others
7
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. 2 For in the same way you
judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be
measured to you.
3
“Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no
attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your
brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a
plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of
your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your
brother’s eye.
6
“Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If
you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to
pieces.
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