I had a slight melt down this morning. I thought about the fact that a large majority of relationships that don't last but have children in them, always end with the children being with the woman. I guess because of the stress of not having "me" time, it resulted in a moment of madness.
A moment where I decided men got on my last nerve. When the relationship ends, how often do you hear a man fight to keep the kids with him? Almost never. This seems to be their door to freedom. From kids, from responsibility. This is the beginning of the mother's never ending time of "never being alone". Some of the cases I have heard where the man just completely leaves the child's life. Then there are those who sometimes see their children, you know the times they feel like it, when it won't interrupt their free time.
Kids are a blessing and I guess that's an aspect we need to think about before we get into a relationship however there is never a guarantee, with even the relationships that are thought to be almost perfect, of what each parent will do when faced with separation. So yes, here is another day where I am at my wits end because I have not had a soulful rest.
During the week, I happened to think about relationships. We are to think about what it is we want and don't want before we get into one. I tell you each and every relationship has taught me something and that's a good thing. Anyone who walks away from a relationship not having analyzed the relationship, themselves, or the person they were with, are doomed to repeat the same things over and over again. Such is a tragedy.
I then started to ask myself, do I ever want to be in a relationship ever again? At the time I asked, my answer was no. Right now, I still say no. Relationships are very hard, which I didn't think they should be, and they are even harder with someone who you have nothing in common with. Opposites may attract, but they don't necessarily stay together.
I also had a discussion with a male last week about the expectations of a man and a woman in a relationship.
One thing I got from it was they don't make men like they used to. Chivalry is almost dead. Guys I have known and seen around don't have the mentality of providing for a family. They don't have the mentality of staying faithful in a relationship when the tough comes around. They don't have the motivation for themselves to do better. They are comfortable with 'just getting by". This guy I was talking to, he grew up different from me too. His parents divorced when he was young and his father was never around. He had an aunt that got married and 6 mos later got the married annulled because her husband caught her seeing some guy she had been secretly seeing while she was in a relationship with her now ex-husband. Then his father is in a relationship with someone but still visits his mother, of course without the girlfriend's knowledge. Then he has a cousin who lives with an older woman who has 2 kids. He constantly cheats on her and she catches him and still takes him back. Just a bunch of craziness.
Don't get me wrong, some women have changed as well, but to a degree I am in favor of that. If we have a full time job just like the man does, why should it still remain majority of our responsibility to cook, clean, and take care of the kids? I could understand if we stayed at home and the man was working to provide but it's not like that anymore. I believe things should be equal. If I am working my butt off, why should I shoulder more responsibility than the man?
Anyway, I realized with my last relationship, that I had expectations that I thought were common sense. While he claimed he had no expectations yet would ask if I would wash and iron his clothes. Are you serious? What's wrong with your hands? I had already taught my boys to wash their own clothes but you expect me to do yours? It was a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship....no way. I think he was mixing up what a woman did in marriage with what was supposed to happen in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.
Regardless, know you, know what you want and don't want, and know what you expect in your relationships. I bet they will go a lot more smoother. I love writing and will try to do it more often.
Anyway, I am much calmer now and I can continue to go on with my day.
Until next time..........
