Let me put on my armor!

So I am talking to someone about their situation today. Things were not going well with this person and in this particular situation, I let them know that what was going on would happen again. I advised them to pray to God for a hedge of protection which made me think of a bible verse. So I looked up the bible verse so that I could properly give the Word.


Ephesians 6:10-18
The Armor of God

10 Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12 For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14 Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15 and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16 In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17 Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

18 And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.

Then as I was reading what I sent to this person, as the words started sinking in, I just stopped and sat there. While I am busy telling someone else about putting on the full Armor of God.....I need to be doing this as well. Situations arise and they always will, but if we prepare ourselves by putting on the full Armor of God everyday, we are better able to get through these situations. As long as we are in this world, we will have trials and tribulations. But having God in your life as you go through life, makes things so much better. I have noticed that I can react to certain situations with such an amazing calmness and I know, it is all thanks to my loving Father. Sometimes I cannot express the way I feel knowing that I have God in my life. Life doesn't always get easier but it becomes different, in a good way. Why would I want to go through life without my Heavenly Father? People just don't know nor understand what that feels like. But it is my duty to let them know. (Yes God, I am working on that one!) LOL....

I have had a wonderful day in the Lord today and I am so thankful for His mercy and grace which is new everyday. I am thankful for the things He has done or will do. I am thankful for the good times and the bad times. The bad times help us grow. Heck, I am just one thankful sister!

Thank you Lord, for being the head of my life, and may I always continue to keep You there for the rest of my life!

Until next time......

More healing to come....

I wake up, not knowing what time it is and hear this in my head....."You say, come to the river
Oh, and lay yourself down and let your heart be found
You say come to the river
Drink from the cup I pour and thirst no more..."

This is a song that I have heard before and it is Christian song. This is what God is saying.... Why am I up? Silly girl, why did you have to ask that question? And then the moment comes....



 Please Lord, don't allow me to become bitter! My thoughts go to my last relationship. Why? I don't know. This guy was everything the opposite of a real man. He wanted a family but did not know the 1st thing about handling one. Maybe the things came up because of of what happened over the weekend? I don't know. I suffered in that relationship. I think worse than any other relationship I had ever been in. I have 2 other older boys from my 1st marriage and in the end, I realized he never really cared about my boys. To sit and think and even say that my middle son kept trying to inappropriately touch me at times was beyond something I could even fathom. My middle son was affectionate at times but to honestly convince yourself that you see things you didn't see, was damaging. To sit there and say that you didn't trust my oldest boys to watch their youngest brother was another slap in the face. If anything, I trusted my boys more that I trusted him or his mother. But to act like he cared about them and in the end deliberately degrade them to his mother , heart wrenching.  

This guy would always watch MY money. Granted he didn't have as much as I did but that never meant for you to watch my money and not attempting to even contribute once you were in my household. I went through alot of financial burdens when my last son was born. Once the lights got cut off. This guy didn't even offer to assist in getting them back on. But he did offer to sit in the dark with us. Really? I understand my feelings toward him changed but that was due to me seeing a person who wanted a mother figure and not a girlfriend.

Then to watch as he commanded his mother to no longer watch our son, I had no more words to speak. Your anger lashes out to doing that not just to hurt me but to your own son! There seemed to be no end to his destruction of others.

I heard a statement "hurt people, hurt people."  This guy had a bad past, with relationships. And always said he didn't trust anyone. The more I got to know him, the less appealing he was for a relationship. Or even marriage! Not that I considered that an option. But he never dealt with any of his past issues and everything come into our relationship. Well, I should have kept my eyes on God.

A good majority of the time, I feel like I have healed from that relationship, but then things like this remind me that I am not completely healed. Which sucks because I really would like to be done with it. But apparently I still have some more healing to do.

I just kept talking to God. All men cannot be like him. There has to be good, Godly men in this world. Not only please show me them, but point me towards those who are like minded in their walk as well. Fellowship is something I desperately need.

These old guys keep coming out of the woodwork. For whatever reason. And I don't want any of them. Not even my ex-husband. He is kind and he and his family have embraced my youngest son even though he is not part of their family. I appreciate the things that my ex-husband and his family do for my youngest son, but my ex-husband and I are not compatible either. 1st of all, he has a girlfriend he was living with. (They are mid houses, right now). 2nd, I don't take well to people who talk behind their current mate's backs. Even if it is my ex-husband.  Ugghhhh.....past GO AWAY!!!!

Let me be, let me heal, let me move on. Let me focus on God.
Jeremiah 17:14 Heal me, O LORD, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.

I give this all to you Lord....take it from me. Heal me, teach me....what needs to be done?

Until next time........

 

And this too shall pass.....

I have had a tough weekend. I had a sinus infection before and the medicine that was prescribed didn't work well, so I called the doctor's office to get another prescription. Friday night, I picked up the prescription, went home, ate dinner, and took my medicine. After not even a 1/2 hour, my stomach began to feel uneasy. I thought maybe it was the food I had eaten. I proceeded to really get sick. This sickness continued to Saturday. I was bound to the bed Saturday. So sick. I had called the doctor's office and was told not to take anymore of the medicine and keep myself hydrated and to only take Tylenol as Ibuprofen would make me worse. It was terrible. After that ordeal, I think I will be looking up natural remedies for a sinus infection.

Well on the heals of being sick, I started feeling so down. The enemy knows when to get at you. I started feeling dislike for my youngest son's father. He does not keep diapers for my son at home but instead takes them from daycare. (just found this out) He doesn't seem to think about the care of my son, I guess the way I would or a normal parent would. I am not a smoker and he brings my son home reeking of smoke. And he brought him home with dried food all around his mouth. It takes seconds to wipe a child's mouth! Now instead of buying diapers, he will add $5 to my son's daycare money as "his half" for diapers. He is sorry!

I woke up Sunday feeling so down. My mind goes to the fact that I know his dad is seeing someone else, that's not what bothers me, but.....being transparent....what bothers me is that I am looked at like I can't get someone in my life. Even though right now I am choosing not to engage in any type of relationship, there are days I wish I had a together family. Mom, dad, and kids. But I don't want him to think, or anyone for that matter, that I am not capable of getting anyone. It's just that I no longer wish to get whatever. I wish to wait to get what God has in store for me. The person He has chosen for me. I spent a great deal of my life choosing the wrong people.And I reap the consequences of it. I regret my last relationship, although I do not regret my son. He is a gift from God.

So I pray to God to help me to continue to forgive as He has forgiven me. I pray that the feelings that keep surfacing will diminish, that I do not become bitter.

Then I came upon the words above. I started to cry. God is there for me. Always. I needed Him more this weekend. I still do my devotionals and posting. Keeping my focus on God is the key. I have got to keep my focus on Him. Feelings are fickle. And they were made worse by me being sick. God is my everything. I do not want to settle in order to have just anyone. I won't settle. I will keep pressing in and on in God. This too shall pass!!!!

Until next time.....

It's not the Midas touch!!!

Boy oh boy... When you keep your focus on Jesus, you really know when you are around, talk to, or associate with the wrong people! I shut myself down this weekend, because of yucky people. Not to God though. I still stayed open to Him. That’s the only way I was going to survive.

 

My youngest son’s father still insists upon lying and trying to cause disruption in my life. I keep telling my sister, keep focusing on God and He will keep your eyes open to those who shouldn’t be in your life. That is so so true. My youngest son’s father approaches me by trying to touch me. First of all, don’t touch me! That’s a disrespectful way to approach a woman. Then he tries to say that I have to have ‘emotions’ because everyone has them. By ‘emotions’ he means, I have to want to have sex with someone. I started to tell him that keeping your focus on Jesus helps, but I would have wasted my breath. He asks “why would God give us these feelings if He didn’t want us to use them?”  I said “because it is to be used in the correct situation. He does not give them to us to sleep with this person and that person. They are to be used with the person He chooses for us to be with.”  With that he proceeds to tell me that God understands what we do and forgives us. I simply looked at him and told him “You don’t know God”.  Because he doesn’t. Nor does he even seem like he is interested in knowing Him.

He wants to try to pick my brain he says because I said physical is not a way to approach me. Not going to happen!

 

It’s a lost cause for him and he doesn’t even know it. We have been apart for about a year and there has been no change in him whatsoever. Me, on the other hand, I have changed, by getting into a more personal relationship with God. This guy has nothing to offer. (He states that’s why he’s not in a relationship because he is a physical person. What kind of nonsense is that?) However, I refuse to have a Godly conversation with him because he really doesn’t care and I don’t want to waste my breath. (Is it bad to be like that?) He has nothing to offer. He states he is looking for an independent woman. But why look to get one when you’re not even independent yourself? All I can do is pray for him and pray that God keeps my eyes open to his untrusting ways. People can change; they just need God in their lives to help them. But sadly a lot of people don’t want to change or don’t know how so they stay the same.

 

Then there is my aunt. This woman can curse up a storm. I can’t take it. She is severely negative and mistrusting of everyone. She believes she knows everyone’s motive behind everything. My youngest son’s father brought him to me without his long sleeve shirt on, just his coat and T-shirt.  My aunt swore up and down that he went over some woman’s house and this woman deliberately took my son’s long sleeve shirt just to prove she was in my son’s father’s life. What?!??!??!!? Are you kidding me? I remained calm and told her I would wait to see what the daycare says. Sure enough, the shirt was at daycare. My son’s dad didn’t pay attention to anything regarding my son’s cubby hole and just out his coat on, with this short sleeve shirt, and took him outside. It was almost 0 degrees that day. Frustration to the highest from him and her.

 

I can’t remain talking to her. For various reasons. I had resolved that the next time she called, I would tell her to stop cursing when talking to me or we would have limited conversations. But I don’t think that will do. I think communication will have to be cut off completely for now. She is way too negative and has too many past issues. They leap on me like bugs and make me feel so yucky! I don’t like feeling like that. And no one can change her but God. But I can’t let her pull me down. Just like I won’t let my youngest son’s father think he will get me into a physical relationship (or any relationship for that matter!)

 

They both were enough for me this past weekend…..I just disconnected.

 

But God…..if it wasn’t for HIM, oh my….I would be off! During my daily reading, it was brought to my attention to read Titus. I had heard something in one of the sermons I listened to during the week, and apparently there was something in there I needed. So I read it.

 

Yes, I needed to read it. Mainly from Titus 1:10-16 but more specifically v15:16(Yes…yes!!)

 

Titus 1:10-16

Rebuking Those Who Fail to Do Good

¹⁰ For there are many rebellious people, full of meaningless talk and deception, especially those of the circumcision group. ¹¹ They must be silenced, because they are disrupting whole households by teaching things they ought not to teach—and that for the sake of dishonest gain. ¹² One of Crete’s own prophets has said it: “Cretans are always liars, evil brutes, lazy gluttons.” ¹³ This saying is true. Therefore rebuke them sharply, so that they will be sound in the faith ¹⁴ and will pay no attention to Jewish myths or to the merely human commands of those who reject the truth. ¹⁵ To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted. ¹⁶ They claim to know God, but by their actions they deny him. They are detestable, disobedient and unfit for doing anything good.

God is so good isn’t HE??? Yes He is!

 

I love my auntie, but it will have to be from afar. My son’s father? I love him with the Love of Jesus….But there is still much prayer that I need to do involving him.  I am also praying that there is true forgiveness that I have for him and not me just thinking it is. But then again, God will let me know. I just have to keep my focus on HIM.  You can’t go wrong when doing that!

 

Until next time......God Bless!