And this too shall pass.....

I have had a tough weekend. I had a sinus infection before and the medicine that was prescribed didn't work well, so I called the doctor's office to get another prescription. Friday night, I picked up the prescription, went home, ate dinner, and took my medicine. After not even a 1/2 hour, my stomach began to feel uneasy. I thought maybe it was the food I had eaten. I proceeded to really get sick. This sickness continued to Saturday. I was bound to the bed Saturday. So sick. I had called the doctor's office and was told not to take anymore of the medicine and keep myself hydrated and to only take Tylenol as Ibuprofen would make me worse. It was terrible. After that ordeal, I think I will be looking up natural remedies for a sinus infection.

Well on the heals of being sick, I started feeling so down. The enemy knows when to get at you. I started feeling dislike for my youngest son's father. He does not keep diapers for my son at home but instead takes them from daycare. (just found this out) He doesn't seem to think about the care of my son, I guess the way I would or a normal parent would. I am not a smoker and he brings my son home reeking of smoke. And he brought him home with dried food all around his mouth. It takes seconds to wipe a child's mouth! Now instead of buying diapers, he will add $5 to my son's daycare money as "his half" for diapers. He is sorry!

I woke up Sunday feeling so down. My mind goes to the fact that I know his dad is seeing someone else, that's not what bothers me, but.....being transparent....what bothers me is that I am looked at like I can't get someone in my life. Even though right now I am choosing not to engage in any type of relationship, there are days I wish I had a together family. Mom, dad, and kids. But I don't want him to think, or anyone for that matter, that I am not capable of getting anyone. It's just that I no longer wish to get whatever. I wish to wait to get what God has in store for me. The person He has chosen for me. I spent a great deal of my life choosing the wrong people.And I reap the consequences of it. I regret my last relationship, although I do not regret my son. He is a gift from God.

So I pray to God to help me to continue to forgive as He has forgiven me. I pray that the feelings that keep surfacing will diminish, that I do not become bitter.

Then I came upon the words above. I started to cry. God is there for me. Always. I needed Him more this weekend. I still do my devotionals and posting. Keeping my focus on God is the key. I have got to keep my focus on Him. Feelings are fickle. And they were made worse by me being sick. God is my everything. I do not want to settle in order to have just anyone. I won't settle. I will keep pressing in and on in God. This too shall pass!!!!

Until next time.....