My weekend...

Well now comes the close of another weekend. Wasn't all that great but wasn't the worst.

Sat, I awoke with another headache. I was glad when the 2 older boys dad came and got them. I thought the baby's dad would do the same. He worked and called asking questions, that he didn't have to worry about and I told him this. He passed my house on his was to work and saw my garage open. Really? You have to pass my house? Later that day, he called and wanted to come over. I told him no. He got upset and hung up. I tried calling him to explain about the baby, but he didn't want to hear it. He told me I act different when my ex husband is in town. Really? What does he have to do with anything? (still he can't let the ex go!) So I texted him and told him that I will never keep him from seeing his son. He just doesn't have to stay at my house to do it. If he doesn't see his son, that is because of him only. No response. OK.

The baby and I were enjoying our day and he took a late nap. I get a phone call from R. He's outside. Really? What makes you think you can just show up at my house? The baby was sleep. So R decides he wants to get the remainder of his items. Fine. Of course upon him gathering the rest of his things, he is glancing all around the house. Seeing things all in place, telling me someone went out on my porch....Really? I said you do nothing but assume, please just get your stuff. I know one day is not going to change a person but goodness, this is one reason we are not together.

Sunday comes. I had my alone time with God this morning. I cried a little. Throughout this whole situation, my emotions have basically been anger. Now I released some tears and prayed to God. I texted the baby's dad to see if he was still getting him so I could go to the store, and so started the games. Not answering texts, not answering phone calls. Then when finally he decided to call, he wants to act like he is somewhere with someone else. Little did he know, I didn't care. I expect him to go to another female because he doesn't know otherwise. I don't care if he is or isn't but the fact that you want to try to make me think something is just ridiculous. Eventually we met so he could get his son. I did what I needed to do and called him to meet me to drop my son off with me. He met me at the store. Then proceeded to tell me he still loved me and tell me it was a separation and things about getting back together. I could still call him to do things together with our son...etc... When I told him what I was doing, getting back in my relationship with God and following His will, he tells me respects that. However, he doesn't respect it enough to not ask me for one more night before I do what I am doing. Really? That's all it is about with him. It is now game on. Let me see what things I can say to get her to give it to me again.

I will not say what I will and will not do. I will say I will continue to pray to God each and every day to give me the strength and courage to go the path I was supposed to go and not the way I actually went. R doesn't respect that. He is and always will be out for self. Especially now that I am not in his life like he wants, he can stop pretending he is interested in getting to know God. He can stop pretending to try to fix things so we will get back together. I believe, from knowing the way he is in the relationship, that he will only do what will result in satisfaction for him. My following God, is not satisfaction for him. I shouldn't expect him to do everything he is supposed to do for his son either, because I see from his previous children's mothers, that if the woman is not in his life, the kids do not get the same attention they would if the woman was in his life. So I pray for my needs in regards to my children, are met. Strength, patience, and what ever else it is a single mom needs to take care of her kids. They are my priority and I do not want to lose focus on that nor on my relationship with God.

So time will tell what R will become. Especially once he actually realizes he will not get his 'last time'.

Until next time.......