Day by day...

So even though it was the better decision to not be with R in a relationship, it is taking somewhat of a toll on me. We all know when you are used to something happening for a long time, it feels weird not to feel that way any more. The relationship had insecurity and anger in it. I was used to being accused of things I didn't do and the relationship just deteriorating. Now, at first when I broke up with him, a weight was lifted off my shoulders. But as each day goes by, I find it harder at specific times to keep myself up. I am praying and reading the word but it seems like more in the afternoon towards when I am soon to get off work, I start to feel down. (by the way, he deleted me off Facebook but not my male friends....) Truthfully it stung and at times I feel like why do I have to feel down when I didn't do anything negative. It was with the strength of God that I was even able to end it when I did. Now I have to get all the negativity that came with the relationship off. That is not the easy part.

I try to not be negative, not be angry about what I now have to do by myself, and not be bitter at another disappointing male. That is a lot to deal with. Then there is the dealing with being lonely. Not alone. Lonely.

Yes it is better to be alone than to be with alot of negativity but the fact is I am now alone. I know it will get better for God is with me and He will never forsake me, but it does get difficult. I have to press on. I must, I need to press on. I have to take it day by day.....God please give me the strength, peace, and tools I need to get through this period of time. You promised you will never leave me nor forsake.

Psalm 23

King James Version (KJV)

23 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

 Thank you for your promises.... Thank you for who You are....Amen

Until next time......