So last night I had to text R because he is paying half the cost of daycare. ($75) When I checked what he gave me, it was only $70 dollars. This might seem trivial to some however my previous experience with him and paying daycare and how I ended up paying more than half of the total payment, that is not what I will be doing anymore. So he texts why I waited so long to say that he doesn't know and he takes it my evening went well . (Confusion on my part because I never said I was doing anything last night....unless once again he was assuming things because my ex was supposed to drop the boys off at home)
I only said I had just taken it out of my pocket and realized it wasn't complete, good night.
To which I get, "It doesn't matter you like it I love it, Boo Boo signing out ...toodles"....What in the world?
What is his problem?
I believe part of the reason I didn't sleep well is because I am having a difficult time understanding why he is being so ignorant. I prayed to God every waking moment last night. For me and for the soothing of my baby's soul. I don't know what was making him toss so much!
I pray to God that these things he is doing doesn't affect me. I mean I understand he could possibly be hurt because we didn't work out but my mind went to thinking about a person's character. A person's true character comes out when faced with different situations. R's character, I see in this statement "The self-centred ones may pretend to put others first if they stand to gain but, as soon as there is nothing of benefit to them, they treat others like dirt."
So as I went to ready my devotional this morning. This is what it was:
Handling Conflict and Criticism
Monday, March 11, 2013
Read | Philippians 1:12-18
During his confinement in a Roman jail, the apostle Paul wrote one of his most upbeat and encouraging letters. In this epistle to the church at Philippi, he used his less-than-ideal circumstances as an opportunity to model the right way to handle conflict and criticism.
It is clear from today’s passage and other scriptures that Paul had to deal with significant conflict, even among members of the church in Rome. Some people were upset that he preached to the Gentiles rather than exclusively to Jews. They also didn’t like that he taught salvation by grace and not law. Paul’s words reveal that some people were teaching the message with a very different motivation from his own.
Notice that he responded with a positive attitude. The tenor of his letter is one of encouragement and resolve. He did not lash out at his critics. Nor did he defend himself personally. He defended his message, the true gospel, but he did so in love and without harshness.
Paul stressed the bright side. He rejoiced because, whether the motive was sincerity or envy, Jesus Christ was being proclaimed, and the true gospel message was spreading. He was so concerned for the souls of others that he responded out of selflessness rather than selfishness.
Ask God to help you stay the course the way Paul did—even when your situation may involve controversy and criticism. The prison guards learned about the gospel from the jailed apostle. Your words and behavior can likewise reflect Christ to unbelievers you encounter.
It was confirmation for me that I have been handling R in a better way than I normally would (the flesh) and it is letting me know to respond like Paul. In the midst of conflict and criticism, what I need to do.
I did not go to work today as I had a bad night and didn't feel so well when I woke up. I called R's mom to let her know the baby wasn't coming because I didn't feel well. I didn't call the dad, because truthfully at the time I wasn't thinking about it. I needed to call the person who was expecting the baby. So I laid down when the baby laid down for a nap. The dad calls. I tell him the baby is not sick I am not feeling well. But that is really not his concern. He is concerned that I have called off to spend time with my ex husband. This guy's mind just will not quit! I told him I have no time for idiotic thinking and hung up. So he texts me to tell me next time tell him when I don't take the baby to his mother's house. I didn't respond so he called back. I just answered 'fine' and was prepared to hang up when he started in again. Anything to be negative about is what he is about right now. (Actually what he has constantly been about the whole relationship) I am not listening to this and hang up so I can rest. To which I receive more text messages about playing games and about daycare. (He was angry on the phone and stated that I needed to let him know about daycare because if the baby wasn't going I should give him his money back!) I never said anything about daycare so I believe this was part of his ploy to keep me on the phone. It didn't matter. I got off anyway. He said talking to me was a waste of time and that I should enjoy playing 2nd. (to what? Oh yeah, his mind is still making up things for him to believe...everything still continues to be about my ex husband)
So before I laid down again, I texted him and said " I will continue to pray for you and God will continue to be with me HIS beloved" .....all he did was laugh....There was nothing else to respond to. Then he texts one more thing, that I delete him off facebook while I am here at home.
He has a very immature mentality. I could careless about facebook or anything else he is thinking about. The sad part is he continues to make his mind think negative thoughts that produce negative things out of his mouth to me and to other people and to those who don't know me, they believe whatever he says. That is another part where I need God' strength. At times I feel sorry for him. How can someone's mind be so messed up? But I will continue to pray for him because he really needs it.
Until next time......
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