Differently.....

So today I am feeling differently than I thought I actually would. I was much stronger and tougher last night. Maybe because I was angry. The baby sort of slept through the night. he tossed and turned some but stayed asleep. I had dreams, sad dreams, but don't remember them now. Which is better that I don't.

I feel like crying. Especially when I look at my baby boy. I love him dearly, just as I do my other boys. Which by the way they tried to cheer me up last night. They combed my hair. They know me. In any situation, when I am mad or whatever, I feel calmed by having my hair combed. Gotta love the kids!

So here comes the time of pain, anger, sadness, reflection, and the knowing that I need to keep it moving. Especially for the kids.
I have to rearrange my life again to make it just me and my boys. Which in the long run might be the best thing in the world. At this point I don't know. Only time will tell.

Until next time....