I just don't think my boyfriend and I will be together much longer. There are so many differences and so many problems. It took alot to get him to do things while he lived in the house and unfortunately now that he is gone, it's even worse. He came over on the weekend and I watched and waited to see what he would do as far as our little one was concerned. That whole weekend, he fed him once. Once! And when I finally made a comment about it, he instead of accepting the fact thats all he did, he tried to tell me he did more than that. He tried to tell me that he fed him Sat (mind you he had been gone from around 2 to 9:30 and claimed he fed the baby when he came in) Uh no! The baby had already been fed around 8pm. So how does he figure he fed him at 9:30?
Sorry to say but I told him all he thinks about is sex and food. Nothing in between. I got mad at him on Sunday. 1st of all I said I need to go grocery shopping. The first thing out of his mouth is "I don't have any money"...WOW!!! I don't even recall asking you!! I just commented on what I had to do. I had to go to multiple places so he tags along with me. After shopping, I go home. I then cook, get the baby's bottles and bags ready for daycare, and feed him. By then it's getting late. Now I need to wash the baby's clothes so he will have something to wear tomorrow. My boyfriend stands there and says "why didn't you do that earlier?" EXCUSE ME! I was shcoked and stunned that question even came out of his mouth. Are you serious? I just stood there and looked at him. Let me tell you what he did that day. he tagged along while I shopped. Then he left and went to pick up his other son and go drop him off at home. (Ohhhh a whole other story!!!!) Then he comes back, eats dinner, and then gets ready for sleep. So actually, what did he do? NOTHING. But he has the never to ask me that question. I looked at him, turned around, and left the room. I tried to hold it in but on my way down stairs, it slowly leaked out. Nothing bad, just amazed that with all the things I was doing today, that he would even say that. Whatever I said, it eventually made him come downstairs and wash the baby's clothes. All that should never have happened.
I am just so tired. What he is, is a whole different type of person whom I can not pamper, baby, or take care of like he was a child. I am not his mother. He's never dated someone older than himself before nor someone with children. He's dated younger girls he thought he'd be able to control and unlucky for him, they ended up cheating on him. I haven't cheated and will not, but I will not put up with his laxidasical ways either. His 2nd son's mother he said he really didn't want to be with her and she paid for everything. So these other people enable him to want to really not do anything.
The bad part about alot of this is that he either doesn't see or want to see how he is. Nor does he want to change it. It takes too much energy to do that. You have a problem if you say you trust no one. You have a problem when you'd rather be by yourself than to deal with other people because of 'the way they are'. You have a problem when you don't accept responsibility for what you do but push the blame on others.
I don't understand how a man can have visitation rights to see his son every other weekend, but when the weekend comes, he picks up the child, takes him to someone else's house, and doesn't see the child until Sunday, when he has to take him back home? Why do that? First it means he doesn't have to watch him or take care of him, he's allowing someone else to do it. His daughter was here for the summer. The only way he actually stayed in the same house with her was when we moved him out of mine. Other than that he would have just occasionally visited her. She lives in another state for God's sake and your barely see her. Why would you not spend as much time with her as you can while she is here? AFter witnessing all this, I started to think, would it be bad if we didn't work out and I got visitation rights to stipulate that if he is does not have the child during his visit, that he looses visitation rights? I mean what difference would it make? Someone else is watching his child anyway so it's not like he really sees him. So many things to think about.
I keep thinking back to the day I was in the hospital. I had just had my baby. I had a C-section. So I am in the bed trying to recovery from surgery and trying to take care of a newborn. My boyfriend has a seriously insecure issue with my ex-husband. He believes I shouldn't have any type or very limited communication with him because he believes in his mind that my ex-husband still wants to be with me. Mind you it has been well over 10 yrs since we've been divorced. So I am laying in the bed and I get up to go to the bathroom. I hurt so much and am so slow. My baby is in his bassinette sleeping so I have my phone on vibrate so it will not wake him. I eventually come back to my bed only to realize that my boyfriend has called a number of times. When I finally call him back, you can tell right away he was angry. He going on and on asking me what I was doing and why I didn't answer the phone. It's a hospital room and I just had a baby by way of surgery, where would I go? I got mad, because he said something about my ex-husband. What? My dad walks in the room and he hears me fussing back at my boyfriend. I told my boyfriend I am not in the mood for this and I am getting off the phone. I am so mad. I try to dismiss it. My dad leaves the room to go downstairs and meet my cousin. Then my boyfriend appears. He is still heated. He starts arguing with me. "I better not find out he was up here", etc, etc. What is he talking about? My dad eventually comes back and he and my dad go walking and talking. The whole problem was this. Apparently my boyfriend has insecurity issues. My ex-husband called him and asked him what room I was in. That set my boyfriend off. With him being insecure you know that didn't set well with him. So instead of calmly approaching me about it, since I was unable to answer my phone, that only fueled his insecurity. So by the time he finally got to talk to me, he was already high strung. I didn't even know what as about to happen.
First of all why would you even do that to someone who is in the hospital? Who does that? Second, why would you not remain calm enough to ask me instead of coming at me accusingly? I had done nothing and got fussed at and mistrusted for no reason other than my boyfriend already having his own personal issues he never resolved. My father told him that my ex-husband did what he did on purpose. To see what would happen. He wanted to cause issues between us and my boyfriend walked right into it.
My maternity leave wasn't any better. if I didn't answer the phone, he had a problem. He would get upset and cause arguments. He was always thinking I would have my ex-husband at my house while I was recovering. (He's called my ex-husband for a reason!) That is not the mind of a healthy person. That's not even the half of it but I can't even write no more today.
Until next time...... :-(
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