Not today....

I am just not feeling it today. Feeling nothing at all.

Now that my boyfriend and I don't stay in the same household, I find myself sometimes enjoying this. Not that I don't care for him but sometimes it feels nice. What doesn't feel nice is knowing that I have to take care of the baby by myself.

But hey, I guess that comes with the territory. I have been thinking and since I have already come across depression, I feel like I am heading back into that territory. I want to be at home by myself. Just shut up from the world right now.

Don't have my weight down like I want, was told months ago I had a fibroid and have been on the mini pill, which my doctor told me would help, but at this point I don't know. I have been having my monthly since June 30. Really? Never had this happen before. But I also know that things change at my age. But when something doesn't feel right....

Stopped the job search...it was getting annoying. So many jobs out there, but I can not afford to have a cut in pay since I am the only one supporting my household of myself and 3 boys.

Still grateful for my life, my health, my job, my children, and their health but it's not as strong of a grateful as I would like.

Cling to something positive because I got a lot of negative on my mind. That's not what I need.

Philippians 4:8 (NIV)

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.

Yeah.....that's what I gotta do.

Until next time......