Love Addiction

So I am having an allergy/sinus day. Not all that good. I just put the baby down for a nap. Then something on the TV caught my eye. A show called Love Addiction. I have never heard of it or seen it before.

So I sit down and watch. Why this caught my eye, at the time I didn't know, but once the show was over, I knew why. There was a couple on there, Kia and Shane. They had been in a relationship for 1.5 yrs. The things that were being said about him and their situation, seemed familiar. Matter of fact, alot of what was on there seemed familiar. This guy was very insecure and jealous. Some of the things that came out of his mouth sounded like what my boyfriend would say. This guy was adopted and was biracial. His childhood seemed to define who he had become. He had a feeling of who would be there for him or would he be abandoned. So he clung to his girlfriend. He didn't have friends outside of his relationship with her. Or at least any that he hung around. And his constant thought was that some other man wanted his woman.

Wow.....my boyfriend was no adopted, nor was he biracial. He did grow up without his father being there and he was cheated on by alot of people. Hence, his insecurity. One thing that was said by Kia was that she had no control over what happened in his past. This is so true. I am not responsible for my boyfriend's past and it pains me at times to have to deal with the repercussion of it. This show has made me stop and think. Some things have changed in this relationship but there are still issues that occur that make no sense to me. I have told him I will not spend the rest of my life dealing with his issues. No one can solve his issues but him and it will take him to get tired of them and change. Not me. I can't do it. They are bigger than me and you know what, no matter how much a person says they love you, love will not make me stay and put up with issues for the rest of my life.

Sometimes I think, I don't want another young male without his father....single motherhood is no joke. The more kids you have, the harder being a single mother becomes. But when it all boils down to it if I have to, I will not allow my baby son to grow up with the same issues his dad has.

It's so interesting to hear my boyfriend say he's pretty much forgiven his dad for not being there. But he hasn't. I tell him, because he needs to hear the truth, if you forgave your father you wouldn't have so much animosity when you talk about him. Mothers who have sons without the father being there, really need to have a positive male influence be in their sons lives. There lies a huge problem. Where can you get a positive male role model who will take on that task and stay?

I will still be thinking for the rest of the day...

Until next time......