Oh how I almost cried with this picture!
I did not have a good night last night. I woke up at about 2:38am and I couldn't breathe. My nose so severely stopped up enough to awaken me. I was upset because I do not get much rest anyway and especially the hard day I went through yesterday. So I was fussing at God. I went to find my allergy medicine and got my bible and sat in the hallway and started reading the bible. I still fussed at God. "What do you want from me?" "Why can't I hear you?" "What am I supposed to be doing as I feel like I am doing nothing?" "What...what...what!!!!!" I was reading the 2 book of Corinthians. There are some verses that stuck out and I believe it was He that was talking to me. But I was still frustrated as I still couldn't breathe out of my nose nor could I continue to blow my nose as this seemed to make matters worse! I eventually closed the bible, took my medicine, and tried to go to sleep. It really wasn't happening for me. I wanted so badly to just scream at the top of my lungs. But the kids were sleep and that is the last thing I wanted to do was wake them up too!
AS I was trying to sleep, I heard nature begin to wake....meaning the birds had started chirping! Uggghhh.....are you kidding me? This was the signal that soon my alarm would be going off. (5:30am) I fell asleep a little and purposely didn't get up until 6:50am. I told God I would get my devotional in at work. I should have been grumpy for the lack of sleep, but I wasn't. My sister said that meant something and she is right. It meant alot. She also said that "maybe God is just seeing if you’ll be faithful even when it doesn’t seem like HE is hearing you. " and I agree with her. He knows that at times I feel like giving up. But instead of wallowing in my feelings like I usually do, I go to Him...however I can.
So this morning, after my devotional, I came across an email I had that just fit and gave me an uplifting He knew I needed. This devotional was about His plan for my life and it was so right on time. Plus I needed to read Psalm 73 in order to understand and it was sooo appropriate!
Psalm 73
A psalm of Asaph.
1 Surely God is good to Israel,
to those who are pure in heart.
to those who are pure in heart.
2 But as for me, my feet had almost slipped;
I had nearly lost my foothold.
3 For I envied the arrogant
when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.
I had nearly lost my foothold.
3 For I envied the arrogant
when I saw the prosperity of the wicked.
4 They have no struggles;
their bodies are healthy and strong.[a]
5 They are free from common human burdens;
they are not plagued by human ills.
6 Therefore pride is their necklace;
they clothe themselves with violence.
7 From their callous hearts comes iniquity[b];
their evil imaginations have no limits.
8 They scoff, and speak with malice;
with arrogance they threaten oppression.
9 Their mouths lay claim to heaven,
and their tongues take possession of the earth.
10 Therefore their people turn to them
and drink up waters in abundance.[c]
11 They say, “How would God know?
Does the Most High know anything?”
their bodies are healthy and strong.[a]
5 They are free from common human burdens;
they are not plagued by human ills.
6 Therefore pride is their necklace;
they clothe themselves with violence.
7 From their callous hearts comes iniquity[b];
their evil imaginations have no limits.
8 They scoff, and speak with malice;
with arrogance they threaten oppression.
9 Their mouths lay claim to heaven,
and their tongues take possession of the earth.
10 Therefore their people turn to them
and drink up waters in abundance.[c]
11 They say, “How would God know?
Does the Most High know anything?”
12 This is what the wicked are like—
always free of care, they go on amassing wealth.
always free of care, they go on amassing wealth.
13 Surely in vain I have kept my heart pure
and have washed my hands in innocence.
14 All day long I have been afflicted,
and every morning brings new punishments.
and have washed my hands in innocence.
14 All day long I have been afflicted,
and every morning brings new punishments.
15 If I had spoken out like that,
I would have betrayed your children.
16 When I tried to understand all this,
it troubled me deeply
17 till I entered the sanctuary of God;
then I understood their final destiny.
I would have betrayed your children.
16 When I tried to understand all this,
it troubled me deeply
17 till I entered the sanctuary of God;
then I understood their final destiny.
18 Surely you place them on slippery ground;
you cast them down to ruin.
19 How suddenly are they destroyed,
completely swept away by terrors!
20 They are like a dream when one awakes;
when you arise, Lord,
you will despise them as fantasies.
you cast them down to ruin.
19 How suddenly are they destroyed,
completely swept away by terrors!
20 They are like a dream when one awakes;
when you arise, Lord,
you will despise them as fantasies.
21 When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,
22 I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.
and my spirit embittered,
22 I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.
23 Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
you hold me by my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
27 Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
28 But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds.
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
28 But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds.
The author, Asaph, allowed discouragement to grow in his life to the point he was deeply disturbed. I can feel him on that! But in the end, he realizes the truth and puts an end to his negativity.
The devotional ends by saying this "The closer you are to God, the less likely the enemy will have a shot at your emotions. Stay close to what God has for you to do. You are His beloved child and He has an amazing plan for your life."
I told my sister with all the things I have been going through, He has something good for me. I just need to keep the faith and keep on going in my relationship with Him. Whenever I feel like giving up, talk to him even more. Because He always has a word for us. Always!
Until next time.....
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