Besides that, yesterday I was putting a halt on past people that I know God doesn't feel need to be in my life. Of course they are males. They mess up my life, leave, then go out and keep looking around and hooking up with others. Only to realize they let a "good one" go. So they decide they want to come back around to "claim" the "good one"
No go. I can't do it. I forgive what was done, but have no desire to rekindle anything. I told my sisters, "I want future not past". I haven't concentrated on finding someone, although I would like someone special in my life. But I want the special person God has for me. I stopped choosing for myself because I obviously don't know how to choose! I am on a different path. And learning more and more about myself, I don't see these past people as being a part of my life. I pray for them but that's about all I can do.
I am tired from a lot of what I am doing. Being part of a 3 person team at work that currently has only 2 people, where I am doing majority of the work, is draining me. My 4 yr old's rambunctious self is draining me. Not having my time is frustrating. My 2 oldest boys are in their own world and have no thought about watching their brother for a few hours for their mother. Having to take care of finances that 2 people are supposed to be taking care of and trying to catch up , while the other responsible for them is not even thinking about them, is draining me. I am on the edge of cracking apart to pieces. I am trying to cling to God for relief somewhere.
Life has to let up soon God..... I am running out of energy, patience, sanity......
Lord I know you got me! Just a little relief so I can be re-energized to keep going!
Isaiah 40:31 King James Version (KJV)
31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.
Two things my sister - I am always praying and just as you said this here - make sure you are saying this same thing to the Lord in prayer. One of the best prayers I have are the ones when I just let it all go unto the Lord, all the unknown questions, all the frustration and all the irritable moments that come my way. It is truly a blessing to have that kind of prayer life because it will help you overcome so much that this life brings at us. Hugs and know that I love ya and praying for you daily!!!
ReplyDeleteThank sis! Love you too! And you are right. I need to b praying the same thing I am saying. I still need to work on the way I pray. There are o many things out there saying the order in which you need to pray, that I feel stifled in praying. But I need yo just let it out like that!
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