Today is not the strongest day. I am asking God to be with me so much more today. I was not able to do my devotional this morning as the baby got up with me instead of allowing me my time with God this morning. Not having my time with God is not allowing me to have a peaceful day. Time with Him makes a big difference.
Feeling alone and a little upset. Mainly at the baby's father as now he feels like his son is no longer a priority. But I was preparing for this but it still doesn't feel good to me. Even after he revealed he had read my private thoughts on paper, he had to put one more jab in the mix before 'he' decided what needed to be done. I bought a car. Very nice car because my truck was on it's last leg. It was about to cost me thousands of dollars for what was about to happen to it. Now I feel safe and secure for my kids in this new vehicle. Whatever happened, the baby's dad tried to disrespect me once more and basically said that I slept with my ex-husband to get the car...I am amazed at what this guy comes up with. I work hard and I work for taking care of my family. Don't ask people for things because I am responsible for taking care of my family. But for this dude to insist upon loving me but always turning around and disrespecting me....it's just horrible. To have someone saying things that you know are not true, doesn't fair well at all. After this car episode, he decided we no longer need to communicate except through text....which I had already told him our communication was only for the sake of the baby.....but even he is not an issue for him either.... Why some have to take their stupidity out on kids is beyond me.
It took me a minute to come back from the brink of hating him....more times I feel sorry for him. To have that much anger against someone for whatever you have issues with has got to make a person weary. I see so many sayings on face book that apply to him it is not funny....There are so many times I want to comment about him...but I just don't....hurt people hurt people but I still don't understand why they feel the need to take things out on those who don't deserve it. Whatever...
There are so many things in this period of time, that the devil is trying to get me to focus on. I keep trying to go back to God's word. I despise this world and the things that people do....it is becoming worse and worse. And so many things are becoming common place that used to be a no-no. Yes, at times I feel like giving up...and then a sermon I heard on giving up comes to mind. Some days are harder than others and today feels like one of them...ok I have to go...the baby is refusing to let me write any more...
Until next time...............
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